Hurt
by Rin Yuki
Summary: My very first songfic! It's kinda long sorry! BellaXEdward


Disclaimer: Okay people honestly. It's called_ Fan_ fiction. You know, as in, 'not written by the real author.' Come on. Let's all grow up a little here. The song is Hurt by Christina Aguilera.

A/N: This is my very first songfic! I really hope you like it! It took forever to write but I think it was worth it. I hope everything makes sense. If you have any questions please feel free to ask! Please review! Much appreciated! Rin

Hurt

**'_How long has it been since He left'_ I thought for the millionth time in who knows how long. I wasn't keeping track anymore. I sat starting out the window off into the downpour outside, letting my mind wander as Mr. Varner, my trig teacher, droned on about some new problem that I had worked on earlier that morning in my truck. I thought about many things as I made invisible patterns with my eyes glued to the window. Things like trees, my truck, and a bush. Then other things like the sun, desert, cactus, hard-boiled eggs (where did that come from?) and slowly, very slowly, topaz eyes that melt my heart and dark purple bruises underneath them, skin that sparkled like diamonds and a beautiful half-smile that-No! I-can't-let-myself-remember! I tried helplessly to reel my thoughts back in but it was too late. The memory of walking into the woods with him for the last time flooded my mind. _'I shouldn't have done that! No! Please don't go! Edward, don't go!'_ I screamed in my mind. I jumped up from my seat quickly backing away from the image that I saw so clearly, tipping the chair over and disrupting the class. They all stared at me in astonishment and I grabbed my bags and fled from the room. **

**Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face**

**You told me how proud you were, but I walked away**

**If only I knew what I know today**

**Ooh, ooh**

I sat in the cab of my truck and sobbed. I rested my head against the wheel and held my sides together with all my strength. I felt like I was imploding. I was thinking of what I would do if Edward was there. What I would say if I could see him one more time.

**I would hold you in my arms**

**I would take the pain away**

**Thank you for all you've done**

**Forgive all your mistakes**

The tears continued to stream down my face as I reminded myself that he was gone. "Why?" I cried out, yelling for no one to hear. "Why would you leave me?! How could you ever think that I didn't want you?! That I didn't accept you?! I would do anything for you! ANYTHING!!" I continued sobbing as I thrust my hand into my book-bag and pulled out my cell. I stared at the contact list with moist eyes. I gasped for air as I read the name over the memorized number. 'Cullen, Edward' it read. I had called the number thousands of times but he never answered. I knew it would be pointless to try to call again so I just sat there and stared and the stupid screen.

**There's nothing I wouldn't do**

**To hear your voice again**

**Sometimes I wanna call you**

**But I know you won't be there**

I finally calmed myself down. I hiccupped silent and tearless sobs as I pushed my ancient truck to go faster. I drove automatically, not paying much attention to where I was going, down the familiar rode towards home. _'He did what was best for him and his family.'_ I tried to reason with myself. _'He did what was best for me. It's my fault they left. It's because I wasn't careful. It's because I was careless. I didn't deserve him anyway.'_ I looked blankly at the road ahead of me. _'Yeah. Right.'_

**Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you**

**For everything I just couldn't do**

**And I've hurt myself by hurting you**

Edwards POV

I was sitting against a shaded wall in an abandoned alley in the center of the city. The noise from the crowded streets mingled with the sounds of their thoughts. I listened quietly. 'Did I pick up the mail today?' from a mother heading home from work, 'Potatoes, lettuce, bread…' from a boy running to the market for his mother, 'What a beautiful day it is today.' from a girl wandering through the streets. If I could sleep I would have but every time I close my eyes, all I can see is _her_ looking back at me with hurt eyes. Yet there was something more behind those eyes. Something like…recognition. I wish I could take back what I said. It wasn't the truth but I had to do it for her own good. She is human and that's how she's going to stay. I can't stay with her if I do nothing but get her hurt.

**Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit**

**Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss**

**And it's so hard to say goodbye**

**When it comes to this, oooh**

Closed my eyes and imagined what would happen if I were to show up suddenly and return to her.

**Would you tell me I was wrong?**

**Would you help me understand?**

I wonder if she would even take me back after all that I've done. Would she forgive me? Would she understand?

**Are you looking down upon me?**

**Are you proud of who I am?**

Does she even miss me? Does she still think about me as often as I think about her? My resolve to stay away began to waver as I imagined her ending up with that Mike Newton guy. I almost got up from where I was and I almost considered rushing on the first plane to the U.S. to hurry back to her. _Almost._

**There's nothing I wouldn't do**

**To have just one more chance**

**To look into your eyes**

**And see you looking back**

I couldn't keep her safe. I couldn't protect her as she was. She's too impulsive. I couldn't keep and eye on her 24/7. It's my loss. It's my problem that I can't see her again and I'll deal with it. Bella has a chance to be human and I'm going to let her live it. It hurts to think this way but it's the truth and it's only fair to her that I let her move on with her life.

**Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you**

**For everything I just couldn't do**

**And I've hurt myself, ohh**

Bella's POV

I lay on my bed, burying my face in a pillow to muffle my screams. I had had a nightmare where he had come back for a day. He told me he loved me just like he had not so long ago. We walked through the woods together and we talked in his meadow. Everything was peaceful and we were happy just like we used to be. Then when he was just about to kiss me, I woke up. A dream of what I would say if he had never gone away. I curled into a ball and waited for the mind numbing pain that his memories would bring. Knowing, but trying so hard to stop believing, that he was gone.

**If I had just one more day**

**I would tell you how much that I've missed you**

**Since you've been away**

**Ooh, it's dangerous**

**It's so out of line**

**To try and turn back time**

**8888888**

Edward's POV

After the traumatic events that had occurred with the Volturi, I looked down into Bella's warm brown eyes. 'How did I ever survive without her?' I questioned. 'From now on' I vowed silently to myself, 'I will stay by your side Bella. To leave you again would be just like dying. To be separated would actually cause me physical pain. Never, never again will I hurt you because it hurt me more to have to say those things to you.'

**I'm sorry for blaming you**

**For everything I just couldn't do**

**And I've hurt myself by hurting you**

A/N: Okay well I had a lot of trouble finding the correct spelling of Volturi and I very nearly gave up completely because of it. It was driving me insane and I ended up on Stephenie Meyer's site. If anybody cares, that's my ultimate weakness (besides Japan). Get that page up and I'll be preoccupied for hours. It ended up prolonging the posting of this so sorry it took so long people! Rin


End file.
